• Jeanne-Marie Grumet, a Presentation Coach who I had the fortune to hear speak recently, talks about rooting yourself in your power when presenting in front of a group by imagining that there are light sockets coming out of your feet plugging you into the ground. I have used this image to help me stand confidently in my perspective and presence while in front of an audience, and it really works!

• When I was going through a particularly tough personal challenge a few years ago, I found it difficult to be in social situations where others had what I was craving in my life. And yet, I needed to be out and about in the world and couldn’t hide at home. So, when I found myself in those situations, I pictured an impermeable bubble around me protecting me from harm. I called it my “hard candy shell,” and it made me feel strong.

• If you suffer from “people pleasing syndrome” and find it excruciating to receive constructive feedback on your job performance, hold boundaries with your clients or stand up for your needs, thinking of the core of your body as made of steel may be just the tool you need to change your energy and resolve in those moments where your desire to please can get in the way of standing in your power.

1. Close your eyes and focus in on a situation you face that scares the pants off you. Feel the fear rise, the discomfort and desire to run the other direction. Stay with it for a moment.




2. Now, think about superheroes, and how they have powers that allow them to succeed in ridiculously impossible situations. What super power can you summon when you find yourself up against this paralyzing fear? Conjure the vision in as much detail as possible. How does having – and using – your newly created power transform the way you feel in this moment? Watch the fear slowly ebb, like a wave.




3. Consider infusing an object with your newly discovered super strength, like a ring or something you carry in your pocket. When you find your fear bubbling up, make physical contact with the object and meditate for five seconds on your super power, imagining it taking over your body.

P.S. My kids have never seen the Batman show but they love this clip of the song on You Tube. I remember planning my life around watching the show in hopes of catching a glimpse of Bat Girl. Makes me feel like a kid again.

If you read my last blog you know that I love silly movies. Whenever I think of ladders, I think of the scene from Christmas Vacation when Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) is hanging up holiday lights on his house. While standing at the top of an extending ladder, he haphazardly affixes the lights to his house with a staple gun.

Suddenly he loses his balance and the ladder veers away from the house into a tree. Fortunately he doesn’t fall to the ground; rather, he simply gives the ladder a push to get it to swing back to the house again, and continues hanging the lights.

Yes, it’s an inane reference, I know. I often think in pictures, so just stay with me for a moment and let me play through….

People come to me desiring a change but fearful that they will have to “start over at the bottom of the ladder.”

Honestly, I don’t buy it.

When you have experience, you have experience, plain and simple.

Yes, if you choose to make a career change, you are course correcting, going in a different direction than you were. If you are entering a new field or even just a new company, you have to learn the ropes of that profession or organization.

But you are not starting over.

Rather, you are bringing the gems of your past experience to bear in this new field.

You are, like Clark, bouncing your ladder from one surface to the other.

From what I’ve seen, skills are always transferable.

The trick is to figure out what you would rather use those skills, honed through your various professional and personal accomplishments, in service of. To discover the cause, business problem, environment, and context to which you would like to bring your formidable talents to bear.

So, if you are feeling nervous about having to climb down one ladder to mount the next, I invite you to leave that fear behind. Turn your focus instead to what you want most for your professional life. With clarity of purpose, you can swing that ladder any way you wish.

P.S. Christmas Vacation is a staple in my holiday tradition. Some people sing holiday carols; my husband and I watch this movie. If you think in pictures too, watch this clip of Clark on the ladder.

If this guy can do it, so can you.

I would love to hear your comments, please share.

Murphy plays two characters, one of whom is Kit Ramsey, a big-time action movie star. He is a devotee of Mindhead, a spoof of a religious group he frequents for regular counseling and support.

In one scene he is freaking out because he thinks that people are out to get him. In actuality, Steve Martin’s character and a makeshift movie crew are filming the star in a barebones budget movie – without his knowledge.

In this particular scene, Murphy is at Mindhead, hyperventilating and trying to calm himself down. To do so, he is spelling out his name “K-I-T” and repeating “Keep it together, keep it together, keep it together” over and over again, super fast.

It’s hilarious, and makes my point for this week….

….Kit Ramsey is repeating a type of Mantra, a touchstone to help him come back into himself and get grounded.

Why am I telling you this?

Because having a Mantra is powerful stuff.

Whether you are changing your career or simply finding yourself in professional situations where your confidence is a bit shaken, repeating an empowering message to yourself about the value you bring to the table is transformational.

Your professional Mantra is how you think about your primary contribution at work….It’s the contribution you WANT to make, the work that makes your heart sing, comes easily and naturally to you and provides real value for others.

It’s a short, simple phrase that makes you feel terrific when you say it.

Mine is: “I am a light bearer.”

Just  thinking about this phrase makes me feel great. The message resonates with my inner knowing. It encapsulates what I bring to the table, where my effort is best spent and how I best serve others. It is a phrase I repeat to myself before entering a coaching session, taking the stage to address an audience or whenever I want to call forth my best self….

….Because that is what a Mantra represents. It’s a confidence booster, for sure, but it’s also an expression of what you most enjoy about your career. It connects you immediately with your Joy Factor, the parts of your work that you absolutely love.

If you are intrigued, consider coining one for yourself and seeing how powerful it can be.

I suggest you post it somewhere where you’ll see it all the time, like on the wall in front of your desk or on your bathroom mirror. Or, write it on a card to carry it in your wallet, pulling it out when you need a quick reminder of how great you are.

How do you come up with your Mantra?

By asking yourself the following questions:

1. What do you want people to think of when they think of your primary contribution at work?

2. What is a single word or phrase for what you would like to be known for?

If you arrive at a phrase that feels like it’s not quite spot-on but is close, carry it with you for a while and practice using it. The message will evolve and you’ll eventually come upon the exact right wording.

I would love to hear what you come up with! Please share.

P.S. Here’s another scene from “Bowfinger” where Kit repeats his Mantra when he thinks he’s being followed. It’s actually just a stunt involving a dog and some high heels. I almost wet my pants when I saw this one for the first time. Watch the clip here.

If I were reading a novel, I’d be riveted by all the plot twists and turns this week.

But it’s not a book. It’s my life….And sometimes it wears me out!

Every week is filled with surprises, for sure, but some are more demanding than others. I usually find that I can swing with the changes and finish the week on an even keel. Occasionally, though, the week’s events take more of a toll.

This was one of those weeks.

Without going into detail, let’s just say I faced some challenges this week including:

• Changes in approach for some key initiatives at work
• Dealing with alternative childcare and work schedules to support one-time events
• Having a bit of a hangover one morning after a night out with some girlfriends (I don’t drink much so when I do have a couple glasses of wine it knocks me over)
• Encountering some parenting challenges
• Staying up too late to accomplish the various tasks on my To Do list

None of these items, by themselves, were deal-breakers…and yet, together, they constituted a pretty staggering set of issues for me to deal with in a single week.

I’ll admit:  I had a couple of low moments, feeling a bit overwhelmed, discouraged and tired. Like I wanted to avoid dealing with some tasks on my plate and instead take a nap, watch a little TV or read a good book. I craved taking the dog for a walk or even making dinner…anything but deal with the issues at hand.

Can you relate?

We all have moments like this, when we want to run the other way rather than deal with what’s going on in our lives. It’s part of being human.

Why am I telling you this?

Because, I am pleased to say that I was able to turn it around.

To change the trajectory of the week so that it came together and I was able to keep afloat and in the end, even be inspired and motivated, feeling like I accomplished my true priorities for the week.

I haven’t always been able to do this.

But this time I did.

How?

In the height of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, rather than walking away from the challenges I faced or continuing to plug away as I had been, I kept at it….

.…But in a new way.

I changed my direction. I was approaching a work project in a particular manner that wasn’t getting me the results I needed. There was something about the way I was going about it that wasn’t working, and I took responsibility for the situation. I was able to, as Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky describe in the great book Leadership on the Line – Staying Alive through the Dangers of Leading, “go to the balcony” and be an observer in my own life.

Rather than festering in my frustration, I stepped back and looked on as if outside of my own body, detached from the emotion and asking, “What do I need to do differently to solve this problem?”

I peeled back the dilemma I faced to the basics, asking myself:

• What am I trying to achieve?

• What obstacles are in my way?
• What is most important about how I solve this?

It was an effective strategy. I was able to change my approach, get back into action quickly and almost immediately see positive results from new tactics. Rather than beat myself up, I took my own advice from my Clearance Sale: Junk Aisle blog post and didn’t waste time or energy feeling badly about myself.

Instead, I just kept moving, resolved to come to a successful conclusion with the challenges I was facing.

And I did.

***

This story reminds me of an inspiring quote a wonderful client of mine shared with me yesterday in an email (repeated here with permission):

“It is always so wonderful to see you and get refocused. I feel like I am walking around with water up to my ears trying to focus but getting distracted by the impending doom of work and life issues. It’s all swirling around and unclear and moving, and I am going to be pulled under. Then I see you and it’s like coming out to sit on a rock in the sun and remembering that I am OK. I have plans and I have support. The impending doom cloud is just a cloud that passes by. I see that when I choose something in my life to focus on, all becomes right sized and I have more clarity and momentum when I am accomplishing something. Thank you Merideth!” – Ann Worthington, Coaching Client

Ann’s words inspire me. We all need support to get out of our own situation for a moment and remember that the “impending doom cloud is just a cloud that passes by.” Our own stuff clouds our vision. It gets in the way. It happens for everyone, for you and me both. I have a coach too because I need help with my stuff. We all can use a moment to “sit on a rock I the sun and remember that I am OK.”

In my situation this week, I drew on my own inner resources and also reached out for help from the powerful people in my support network. I’ve surrounded myself with professionals who help me step back, “go to the balcony” to get some perspective and regroup and then go return to the fray with renewed energy, determination and success-mindedness.

By being an observer of the obstacles I encounter when going for my goals, I am not deterred by challenges but see them for what they are – temporary impediments – and am able to find a way to maneuver around them.

I’m wondering:

• How does thinking of yourself as an observer “going to the balcony” change the emotional charge you feel when you encounter obstacles?
• How can you keep this perspective top-of-mind when you are in those hot moments of frustration when plans go awry?

Please share your thoughts below.

So, you may be surprised to hear that I had a fantastic New Year’s Eve celebration.

What was so great about it?

We had a Fun-Do party.

Huh?

When my husband and I were married 18+ years ago, we received two fondue pots which, for the most part, sit idly by. I’ve often fantasized about holding a big party and serving all types of fondue from these fantastic pots.

But as the years have marched on I’ve never gotten it together to host such a shin-dig….

Instead, two years ago we started using the pots ourselves – just the four of us – to ring in the New Year, modeling our new tradition on my in-law’s practice of serving savory fondue on December 31^st.

Instead of savory though, we decided on chocolate!

Our daughter, 3 ½ years old, dubbed it Chocolate Fun-do. She was, of course, mispronouncing the word, but the new name stuck. The kid has a way with words.

Fun-Do it was.

Following a delicious homemade pizza dinner, we dug into the rich, luscious dessert. What’s not to love about dunking pieces of banana, marshmallow, raspberries and lady fingers into rich, dark, melted chocolate?

One word: Heaven.

My daughter spent most of the time enjoying one single marshmallow drenched in chocolate. She was wearing a mustache – and a big smile – by the end of the meal.

My son, 2 years old, was a bit unclear on the concept. Although he LOVES chocolate even more than his sister, he didn’t recognize it in melted form, instead preferring to dine on plain bananas and cookies.

Oh well, all the more for the rest of us. (He’ll get it next year).

As we sat around the table laughing, I found myself thinking contentedly that this was just the right cap to a remarkable 2011 and a brilliant kick-off to 2012.

Why am I telling you this?

Certainly not to show you how perfect my family experience is. In fact, that night in between moments of bliss there were LOTS of admonitions like, “Don’t touch the hot flame,” “No, you can’t have more cookies” and “Let’s get the chocolate off you before you touch anything else.” Yes, the actuality of the experience was filled with the ordinary, frustrating moments of finagling two toddlers to sit at the table peacefully.

BUT, what I remember is the magic of the evening.

***

Our Fun-Do party is an example of how we make meaning in our lives through the practices we keep and the traditions we create.

Real life is not the shellacked, polished rendition displayed in Pottery Barn catalogs and TV commercials. You and I both know that life is actually full of mishaps, trying moments and bloopers.

We enjoy a full, fulfilling existence when we put in place habits and practices that bring us more of what we dream of; when we take good care of ourselves and our loved ones, keep our commitments to ourselves and mark the milestones that deserve celebration….

….Exasperating moments and all.

The metaphor of establishing “traditions” works well when considering a major transition in life such as changing your career, improving your business or upping your level of fitness.

One such tradition – a best practice really – is to surround yourself with supportive people, resources and structure to make sure you follow-through on your most cherished goals.

When others bear witness to a commitment we make to ourselves and provide support to help us achieve our goal, it is an enormous motivator. We tend to keep such commitments, regardless of the obstacles or setbacks we encounter. In contrast, when we leave it up to ourselves to stay accountable to our dreams, it can be tempting – even easy – to falter.

So, I’m establishing and maintaining “traditions” in 2012 that support me in achieving my most treasured goals for my career, my business and my life. I know it’s the path to success.

As we start this new glorious year, my questions to you are:

• What is your most cherished goal?
• What progress are you longing to make towards it in 2012?
• What support do you need to put in place so you don’t find yourself on December 31st no further along than you are today?

Please share.

Some aisles are more chock-a-block than others.

One in particular is bulging at the seams. I call it the Junk Aisle.

Lots of things in there, bits and pieces.

For example, there is a big section devoted to quotes from 80s movies.

I can recite pretty much any line from Better Off Dead:

• “I’m sorry your mom blew up Ricky!”
• ”Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.”

…or Christmas Vacation:

• “Eddie, if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.”
• “Then WHY is the carpet WET, Todd?” “I don’t KNOW, Margo.”

Why, you say?

Well, the quotes come in handy at parties….

…In other words, yes, you could say I have some wasted space in my brain.

There are other items – not so benign – in my Junk Aisle:  the self-denigrating messages and put-downs that that gremlin-y Inner Critic in my head spouts out when I try new things and stretch my wings.

That nasty voice says things like:

• You’re not good enough
• You can’t do it
• You’ll never get there
• You don’t know enough
• You’re not pretty enough
• You’re not experienced enough

As you can see, the voice is not in favor of me growing and extending to my full potential. She is instead committed to keeping me small, safe and unchanged. She is the voice of fear.

As we get ready to launch an exciting new year, I’ve decided to have a “Clearance Sale” for my Junk Aisle. At 90% off, I expect things to fly off the shelves. In this post-Christmas sales season, I’m holding on to the metaphor of a clearance sale to represent the commitment I’m making to myself to make room for the good stuff.

Yep, the negative messages, thoughts and beliefs have all got to go. NOW. There isn’t a moment to lose.

When I spend time indulging my fearful thoughts, I take away time, effort and focus from making my dreams come true. What a waste.

Instead, with the arrival of 2012 I’m choosing to focus my energy on filling up my “It’s Happening Now” aisle. This row has fewer items right now, but over the next year it will fill up. It includes these messages, written in bold, beautiful script and ready to be displayed prominently in my thoughts and life:

• I can do it.
• I’m already doing it.
• I am exactly where I need to be right now.
• I am the right person for the job.
• I know what I need to know.
• I am enough.

I know that when I clear out the junk and make room for the positive messages to expand, the results will be transformative. Giving up some precious real estate dedicated to 80s movie classics and “I suck” messages in favor of beliefs and thoughts about my inherent success and enough-ness will provide me the secret ingredient to make the changes I want in my life…and in the world around me.

Because what I’m creating is creative and beautiful. And it can only come from me, because it is birthed inside of me. Only my voice can bring my dreams and visions to life. In that way, it’s selfish for me to let my fear hold me back.

So I’m doing it. Losing the Junk Aisle. Starting now. It’s going to take discipline, support and focused attention.

And it will be so worth it.

Would you care to join me?

Please share.

I did this by attending my 25th high school reunion. Menlo-Atherton High School Class of 1986 – Go Bears!

Not everyone goes to their reunions. You may be reading this and saying, “Why would I subject myself to that? Those people are not my friends anymore.”

I totally see your viewpoint. For me, my curiosity got the best of me. This event only happens once in a lifetime and I didn’t want to regret not going later. I reasoned that I’d just go for a little while and then leave if I felt uncomfortable or bored.

My close friend who’s accompanied me to past reunions decided to skip this one. I admit, the prospect of going alone was almost a deal-breaker. I bought my ticket before losing my nerve and then furiously perused the event’s Facebook page to see who else was going to be there….

The day of, I dressed in my best outfit, applied my new make-up, and hopped in the car a bundle of nerves. Blasting upbeat music to boost my confidence, I hurtled my way towards my date with old classmates.

Upon arrival, I jumped immediately out of the car and ran through the rain to the door, figuring that if I have to eat a frog, I better not sit and stare at it too long.

The party was held in a hamburger joint. As I entered the place, instantly I was transported back in time. The smell of greasy burgers and fries wafted through the air, I could hear the clack of pool balls and feel the exposed wood of the floor beneath my feet.

I’d been here before, years ago. I was struck by the dichotomy of my comfortable familiarity of the place and the queasy, “here we go” anticipation of making my entrance into the party.

Deep breath.

I found where my classmates were congregating and slowly walked into the room. The party was in full-swing, the noise deafening. With 100+ people crammed into a small space, no one noticed me (or so it seemed). At least no one ran up immediately and said, “Merideth, there you are! We have been waiting for you” the way I’d fantasized.

Glancing around, I was struck by how few people I recognized. True, I wasn’t wearing my glasses (trying to look cool) and so although I could see, things were not especially crisp. I finally recognized a woman from grade school and made a beeline for her. We hugged and proceeded to stick together through the evening. Turns out her nerves were just as jangly as mine!

There is something about coming into a situation like this that can feel extremely unsettling.

I found that I wanted people to recognize me for who I once was but also to see me as who I am now. I wondered how to share what I’ve been up to give my classmates a sense how much I’ve grown, changed and become more of myself since those formative years we spent together 25 years ago.

Instead, what I found is what you might expect from a situation like this. Conversations were short and light, changing as people milled about and recognized each other. There were the expected inquiries like, “Where do you live?” and “Do you have kids?” but that, for the most part, was it. I learned bits and snatches about what people do for a living, their children and families, and about one classmate’s bid for city council.

Thrown back into a party-environment at this old hangout felt like going back in time. I found myself feeling a bit awkward, gawky and self-conscious, talking with people who knew me in a certain way, when I hadn’t yet grown into my potential, when I hadn’t yet spread my wings.

***

Why am I telling you this?

Because the experience got me thinking.

Whether or not you attend your high school reunion like I did, we all run into situations that bring up our past and “the way we used to be.” Regardless of whether or not it’s a positive or negative experience, reliving the past can bring up outdated beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of in our lives.

When I’m coaching, I find that my clients often encounter beliefs about themselves that no longer serve them. When we can see them for what they are, take the good and leave behind the rest, transformation happens.

Reflecting on your early experiences offers an opportunity to see how far you’ve come in your life. You can become aware of how the non-affirming ways you’ve defined yourself as a result of your past are voluntary shackles that you can choose to cast off in order to move forward toward your dreams.

In my case, attending my reunion gave me a chance to go back in time, feel the way I used to feel, and make some sense of it. As I left the party, I left my high school self behind, entering the welcome respite of my Swagger Wagon. The car stood as a reminder of my life now as mom, wife, entrepreneur, writer, light bearer and dream seeker.

As I turned the nose of the car towards home, I felt relief and joy that I could go back in time temporarily, but then be able to come back to present day. I’m much happier here…and I no longer have acne!

I will attend my 30th reunion for sure…out of curiosity again. To delve into the past, and to see how far I have come. I’m looking forward to it.

I’m wondering:

• What is one outdated belief about yourself that you carry around that no longer serves you?
• What would it feel like to let that go?
• What is possible in your life if you leave that non-affirming belief behind you?

Please share below.

As the phrase came out of my mouth, I was horrified to hear the message I was sending and to watch my daughter’s face fall.

Ah, stress.

I wear it like a coat this time of year.

In this instance, I was finishing a day taking care of my two toddlers on my own.


I was wiped.

The day had included, among other things…

• Schlepping my daughter back and forth to preschool with my son in tow
• Preparing breakfast and lunch for the kids and myself, and feeding the dog
• Putting the kids down to nap (my daughter just played in her room and eventually had a potty accident which I then had to clean up)
• Changing diapers for my son
• Doing laundry
• Making lasagna for dinner, which is time-consuming
• Washing all the dishes I dirtied making the lasagna

….and then my kids refused to eat the dinner I made.


Sigh.

Now I was relishing the idea of a few golden minutes of peace and quiet to flip through a magazine in comfortable companionship with my husband on the couch, before beginning the sometimes arduous activity of toddler bath time.

My three year-old had different plans.

She wanted to dance….and she wanted someone (me) to watch her do it.

Before I had sat down, at her request I had put on some Christmas music to set the mood. She and her two-year old brother were dressed up as Superman and Robin. In stocking feet, they were taking turns being “on stage” performing. My daughter really wanted me to put on the Nutcracker CD so she could play Sugar Plum Fairy….

….in her (Batman and) Robin costume.

How could I resist?

I hauled my weary self off the couch and moved into the room where the “stage” was (the brick platform in front of our fireplace). I put on the classic Tchaikovsky score and settled down in a chair to watch.

What my daughter truly craved, though, was for me to dance with her and her brother.

So I did.

We pirouetted, curtseyed and ran our way around our downstairs rooms. The Sugar Plum Fairy yelled “Come on guys!” and bounced off as her giggly Mommy and her brother, dressed as his beloved Superman, followed her. My husband watched from the sofa, shooting me that knowing smile which tells me he finds our children as adorable as I do.

In that instant, I realized the magic of the holidays. I felt all stress leave my body.

**

I relish moments like that. They hit me square between the eyes and I want more. They are the antidote to stress.

Preparing for the holidays + the normal activities of getting through the day + the demands of our careers = stress.

I don’t know about you, but in the next few days I have:

• Holiday cards to address and mail
• Presents to wrap and send
• Other presents to find, purchase or make
• Logistics of where we’ll be during specific holiday days to finalize
• Menus to compile and grocery shopping to accomplish
• Cleaning to do

…and don’t get me started on the list of things to do for my paid career. That’s a whole other list!

As I become consumed with the To Do list, I find myself forgetting to stop and enjoy the spirit of the season.

My kids remind me of what it’s all about, simply by being them….

.…And I’m so grateful that they do.

I’m wondering:

• What magical moments do you relish this time of year?
• How do you keep the spirit of the holidays top-of-mind when your To Do list to prepare for it is a mile long?
• What do you do – or not do – to take care of yourself during what can be such an alternately wonderful and stressful time of year?

Please share below.

Yep, you heard me right. I’m plumb out of ideas.

I’m not sure why. Fatigue? The holidays being upon us? Preoccupation with creating my exciting upcoming programs? Who knows. Probably a little of all of the above.

The important thing is that I want you to know that I’m not over here with all the answers. I’m creating my life as I go too. I’m a professional experimenter in terms of how I’m making decisions and venturing forth in my business and in my life. I’m noodling my way along.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s not random, my approach.


I have done the thought and heart work to figure out what makes me energized and happy. And I’m living that.

But within the parameters of what I know works to make my life feel fulfilling, I’m creating it as I go along. Coming up with an idea, putting it out there, gathering some feedback, tweaking and then implementing it. This is my process, my way of being a light bearer, which is how I see my role.

More and more, I’m letting go of the drive to be perfect, to get stuck in analysis-paralysis, in favor of a simpler approach that allows me to live in the creative space I crave more than in the analytical space that I have spent so much of my life in….

Why am I telling you this?

Because you will continue to draw closer and closer to your optimal life by taking small, sweet action based on what you know now. The steps you take, tiny though they may seem, will change you and your landscape and grow you into the person you need to be to achieve the outcome you dream about.

That is, if you act.

You’ve got to get moving and avoid the pitfall of “magical thinking” where you imagine that if you concentrate your thoughts enough on what you most want it will spontaneously happen.

I know you don’t know everything yet about where you’re headed…

… But you know enough.

You get to where you want to go by taking imperfect action.

So find a toe-hold for your dream and dig in. Whether it’s a class you’ve wanted to take, a book you’ve wanted to read, a novel you’ve been dreaming of writing, a training program you’ve wanted to enroll in, or a place you’ve wanted to go. Do it. Make the investment in yourself and get moving.

It will lead somewhere good, I promise.

I’m wondering:

• What is one thing in your life that you’ve been aching to do, but you’ve felt stuck?
• How does thinking of yourself as taking imperfect action help clear the logjam on your stuckness?
• What baby step are you willing to take, now, in this area?

Please share.

Always equipped, she brings five coats along with her for every occasion, twice as many diapers as her kids could ever use, too much food for lunches and too many pens for meetings.

Her kryptonite is showing up and not having what she needs. She is petrified of being caught unawares. For her, that’s a fate worse than death.

Organized but a bit messy, she always knows approximately where important things are, except for her keys, cell phones and kids’ sunglasses.

As she leaves for a trip, she worries out loud about gear she has forgotten to bring, listing items off to her husband or whoever will listen as she thinks of them. She sees herself doing this and knows it sounds a bit ridiculous…

….And yet she persists:

• To overdress her children in fear they will be chilly and catch cold.
• To play out situations before they happen to try to be ready for the possible outcomes.
• To plan out weekends ahead of time so she knows there is something “fun” on the horizon.
• To get everything done for the evening before finally sitting down to watch a TV show with her husband, only to find out that he has dozed off waiting for her.

Her close family knows about her superhuman powers and makes a bit of a joke about them.

She laughs with them but secretly believes they just don’t understand. They benefit from her incredible thoughtfulness and foresight when preparing for kids’ birthdays, weekend picnics and vacations. She devotes so much of her time and effort to making it easy for others to experience and enjoy their lives.

It truly is exhausting for Super Over-prepared Woman to be so on-top of things all the time.

Invariably, the day before leaving on a family vacation, she comes to the logical conclusion that the family cannot go on the trip simply because it’s impossible to get everything prepared to step out of regular life for a few days. Then, she collapses for a quick cry, mentally resets her priorities and carries on.

Super Over-prepared Woman had a realization the other day as she returned from a wonderful weekend getaway with her family. As she hurtled down the freeway in her Swagger Wagon, blissfully contemplating the two toddlers snoozing in the backseat, she noticed that she could actually see out the back window of the van. This struck her as unusual as normally on trips – even weekend getaways – the view is obstructed due to the mountain of gear.

What was different this time?

She had packed in a hurry, without her normal list in front of her.

Why?

The morning of departure, she’d suddenly learned that her husband would only be able to join the family for the first day of the trip; therefore, she wanted to get a move-on ASAP. Unlike her usual thoughtful – and slow – approach to packing, Super Over-prepared Woman had thrown a few things in the car and peeled out.

As the house receded in the distance, she mentally ticked off the items she had forgotten as they came to consciousness:  headphones for her daughter, music for putting the kids to bed, earplugs for sleeping peacefully…and the list droned on. She tensed and gripped the steering wheel but didn’t turn around.

Upon arriving at their destination, Super Over-prepared Woman found herself continuing to realize things she had left at home: make-up remover, the kids’ hairbrush, antacid, a turtleneck, etc. She felt a bit anxious but simultaneously noticed her tension starting to dissipate. Borrowing what she needed from family, she reasoned she’d make a run to CVS to pick up any important bits and pieces that couldn’t be scrounged.

The run to CVS never happened….

….and, to her amazement, everyone survived the weekend and thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

Now, as she glanced in the rearview mirror, Super Over-prepared Woman felt relaxed and relieved. Though her superhuman powers were valuable, she now realized that they were not always imperative. For a few moments she could let her hair down her and be content….Not planning for any contingency, not anticipating every possible outcome and trying to have just the thing on-hand to take care of it.

Because even superheroes need a day off.

**

I’m wondering:

• If you were a superhero, who would you be?
• What are your superhuman powers?
• How do these “powers” make you over-do, over-think, over-stress sometimes?
• What does thinking of yourself in this humorous way help you let go of?